Carrying Your Ghost #27

Would it have

Made any difference

If the gun

You used

Wasn’t the one

That I

Made work

For you?

I’ve spent

The last

13 years

Trying to

Hate myself

For the sake of

Mechanical aptitude

Wishing I could

Take back

What I’ve done

But I’ve realized

That my absence

When you needed

Me

Was as much

A smoking barrel

As the one

That ended

You

And now

I realize

That it wasn’t

My finger

On the trigger

Or my bullet

In the chamber

It was yours

Just like

The choice

You made

To do

What you did

And that’s

The truth

We both

Had to face

Alone

-08/15/2007