Tanka - For Least Heat Moon
Blacktop serenades
And soft pavement lullabies
Playing through my dreams
Like a thousand endless miles
The Blue Highways of my soul
-02/23/2008 Zero Anon
Haiku
There’s no catching you
This time it’s out of my hands
Born to fall alone
-01/15/2008 Zero Anon
Carrying Your Ghost - Epilogue
Thirty pieces, two notebooks, and over a month of work later and I still couldn’t tell you what really started this all. There were, of course, some seemingly unresolved personal issues and emotions that still needed an outlet. I have to ask myself, though, why now? That may be a question that is never answered, and in all honesty, I really am not that concerned about it. What matters to me is the work itself. I, in no way, make any assertions to the quality of it. What matters to me is that every single word made it out of my pen and onto the pages of my notebooks. If you have read these pieces, I hope that you at least found something that you could identify with, could understand, and maybe even something you could take with you. That alone would make writing them worthwhile.
I would also like to say a few words about the subject. His name was Alexander Eli Siers Jr., born October 10, 1975 and died November 16, 1993. He was my friend and probably a better one to me than I was to him in life. As would happen I made the classic friend mistake, I took for granted the amount of time that this life had given us and it ran out far too soon. It is an easily avoidable mistake that it seems we all make too often. I am still trying to make up for it.
While these pieces were written with Alex as the focus, they also represent a number of other lost souls, friends and loved ones taken before their time. Where I come from and along the road that I have traveled, I’ve collected more ghosts than I would like. And so these words are also dedicated to Twila, really just a baby, whose passing taught me what death was before I’d even had a chance to learn what life was; for Wanbli, whose life ended just as we were all struggling to find our way into our young adulthood; for Bill, one of the only decent cops I’ve ever met, trying to do the job in a place where that quality is all the more scarce; for a man we called Shadow, who was just getting back onto his feet when a hit and run driver knocked them out from under him for good; for Stormy, for Jewel, for the rest of those whose lives have ended all too abruptly and before their full measure. These are the lives and endings that I am powerless to change. So I do the only thing that I can, I pick up their ghosts and I carry them, I guess as long as I am able. My prayer then is this, that when I have fallen, when I can carry them no more, that there will be someone there to pick us up, and carry us a little further. In the end, it’s the only immortality that we can have in this world, the legacy that we leave in the lives and memories of others.
Thanks for reading,
Zero -08/29/2007
Carrying Your Ghost #30 - Finale
Open roads
Of perfect black
And the
Mist shrouded
Undiscovered country
Lie ahead
For there is
No place
Left for us
In the past
And only
Heaven knows
Where we belong
But we’ll have
To find it
For ourselves
We must
Ride on
Following the stars
As long as
This Earth and Sky
And Time itself
Will bear us
Because now
We are free
From the
Coffins
Of our
Own creation
By the salvation
Of our friendship
And we will
Carry each other
Forever
Together
Your Ghost
And mine
-08/27/2007 Zero Anon
Carrying Your Ghost #29
I sit down
Beside your
Grave
And we talk
But only
The timeless
Dakota sky
And ever present
Prairie wind
Will ever know
What we
Really said
Though there was
One thing
I wish
I would have
Told you
When I had
The chance
And looking back
I think
It may have
Been the reason
I hold
Your memory
So dear
It’s simply this
You were
An easy friend
And I hope
That somehow
You can
Understand
It never
Took work
To know you
To help you
To talk
With you
And even when
Things got weird
Between you
And the girl
Who would break
Your heart
Your will
Even when
You were hiding
From her
In my
Backseat
It was easy
To be
Your friend
And you will
Never know
Just how rare
That quality
Can be
Or just
How much
That ever meant
To me
And now
I realize
Though it may
Have been hard
To lose you
Leave you
Live through
Your death
The easiest part
Has always been
Will always be
Carrying your Ghost
And that’s
An honor
For which
I will always be
Grateful
-08/21/2007
Carrying Your Ghost #28
This sadness
Was a sickness
That I was
In love with
All these
Years
Maybe because
I was angry
At me
At you
At GOD
Or maybe
Just because
I thought
It was all
I had left
Of you
Besides this
Tattered obituary
Fading to yellow
In the back
Of my notebook
But I’ve decided
To try
To let it
Go
Not to
Forget you
Or because
I’ll ever believe
That your leaving
Was ok
But because
I want
Your memory
To always be
A good one
Because
I want
To spend
The rest of
My life
Thinking of
You
And smiling
So that when
Someone
Anyone
Looks at me
In my eyes
They will
See
A little
Of you
-08/15/2007
